Your personal and professional growth can quickly become limited if you don’t know how to deal with social anxiety. Social anxiety can dim your self-confidence. It can also restrict your social circles and lead to overwhelming feelings of isolation.
Unfortunately, the mere existence of social anxiety can make it challenging to get treatment and support. After all, how do you reach out to people for help when social interactions are the source of your stress?
If you’re experiencing social anxiety, you’re not alone. There are many tactics for helping you learn how to deal with social anxiety so you don’t miss out on positive growth experiences.
What is social anxiety disorder?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, social anxiety disorder is an intense and persistent fear that surfaces when you’re in social settings. If you experience this type of anxiety, you may easily become embarrassed or even feel a debilitating sense of self-consciousness.
To be fair, many people experience nervousness in certain social situations. For example, fear of public speaking and phone anxiety are common. However, someone with social anxiety, also called social phobia, may feel so uncomfortable in group settings that they avoid them altogether.
One way to tell whether you’re experiencing common levels of stress vs. anxiety is to analyze whether your symptoms are impacting your everyday life. Stress can be normal, but anxiety can limit your participation in activities such as work or school and affect your relationships.
Social anxiety is a mental health disorder that can be diagnosed by licensed mental health professionals. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, social anxiety is described as a fear that’s not proportionate to the social situation or context.
Social anxiety disorder was first recognized in the second edition of the DSM (DSM-II), which was published by the American Psychiatric Association in 1968. A British psychiatrist named Issac Marks first introduced the idea of classifying social phobias separately from other phobias in 1960.
Symptoms of social anxiety
Based on diagnostic interview data from National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R), more than 12% of US adults experience social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. If you’ve experienced social anxiety, you’ve likely dealt with some of the most common social anxiety symptoms. These include:
- Persistent worry about being judged negatively
- Intense fear when meeting or speaking with strangers
- Avoiding social interactions where you may experience a “spotlight effect” of attention
- Anxious anticipation leading up to a social event
- Fear that you’ll experience physical reactions that might embarrass you, such as shaking or sweating
- Constantly dwelling on perceived flaws in your interactions
In children, social anxiety may be expressed by behaviors such as the following:
- Crying
- Throwing tantrums
- Clinging onto a parent or caretaker
- Failing to speak in social situations
How does social anxiety impact happiness and satisfaction?
Most people know what it feels like to be uncertain about social situations. Social anxiety disorder (SAD), however, is more than just shyness.
If you have social anxiety, you may sometimes go to great lengths to avoid social events. You might be willing to lose money, time, relationships, or opportunities to avoid being in front of others.
Studies have shown that social health is crucial to your overall well-being and happiness. According to an 85-page report released by the US Surgeon General in 2023, half of US adults are lonely. Dr. Vivek Murthy, the US Surgeon General, declared loneliness a new public health epidemic in the US. He argued that increasing loneliness has caused harm to individuals and society.
People often feel happier with others than they do when they’re alone. Even people with SAD experience positive emotions when interacting with others, though their reward may be less.
Historical research published by the National Institute of Mental Health found that if you have social anxiety, you may also have poor self-efficacy. This means you might feel a lack of control over your symptoms and life. If you’ve tried and failed to regain control, you might feel there’s no point in trying to talk to people or do anything differently.
Is there treatment for social anxiety?
Like most anxiety disorders, social anxiety is usually managed with a combination of treatments. For example, it’s not uncommon to use both medication and talk therapy guided by a mental health professional. Since social anxiety often has a specific set of triggers, treatment may also include practicing or talking through various social situations.
Everyone’s experience is different. Therefore, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. It’s about working with your healthcare providers to decide on the best treatment for you.
Psychotherapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most common and effective types of therapy to treat social anxiety. By working with a clinician, you can identify unhelpful, distorted, and anxious thoughts. Noticing these patterns can help you start challenging and replacing them. A clinician can also help you create social goals to cultivate a happy and meaningful life.
Your therapist may also want to pair CBT with exposure therapy. This is because social anxiety disorder shares many traits with phobias, which are persistent and excessive fears of an object or situation. In this case, your phobia is the fear of social situations. With exposure (or desensitization) therapy, gradual exposure to your stress triggers can help you learn to cope.
For example, your clinician may start by having you set your appointments over the phone. Once you get comfortable, they could have you start engaging in small talk with the receptionist. Remember, your therapist can also teach you coping skills to use when you feel anxious. The goal is to work on increasing your comfort a little at a time.
Medication
Clinicians who treat social anxiety disorders may prescribe medication to help you overcome fear and anxiety. Anti-anxiety medications include SSRIs, beta blockers, and benzodiazepines.
- SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors: According to Mayo Clinic, SSRIs work by helping your brain keep serotonin from being reabsorbed as quickly as usual. Often, SSRIs are prescribed as antidepressants. They are also used to treat generalized anxiety disorder and other mental health conditions. SSRIs usually take a couple of weeks to start working, but they can be very effective for people living with depression and anxiety.
- Beta blockers: Beta blockers are popular for treating acute (immediate) symptoms, especially during panic attacks. They can help you manage periodic heart palpitations, sweating, and dizziness caused by anxiety.
- Benzodiazepines: “Benzos” can also halt intense symptoms of anxiety in the present moment. Benzodiazepines work by slowing down the central nervous system, which can help relax your mood. However, this medication can also cause unwanted side effects. You should always speak with your healthcare provider to determine the best medication for your symptoms.
Support Groups
Support groups for social anxiety can be especially healing. They can help you overcome the fear of interacting with and being judged by others. When you participate in a support group, you may be able to talk openly in a way you’re not comfortable with outside group therapy. Practicing sharing experiences in this way can improve social skills.
Holistic Remedies
Natural remedies that support taking care of your whole person can also help relieve social anxiety. For example, having a physically active lifestyle is associated with a 60% lower risk of developing anxiety disorders compared to the general population.
Other natural remedies to help reduce anxiety include the following:
Strategies and tools for managing social anxiety so you don’t miss out
Trying to manage social anxiety can be frustrating, especially if you want to be social but feel like you lack control. In addition to talk therapy and medication, there are several things you can do to help calm yourself down when you’re feeling anxious.
None of these strategies should be a substitute for medical advice from a qualified mental health professional. Still, being proactive about mental fitness can boost the effectiveness of therapy.
Here are some tips to help you take your life back from anxiety.
1. Get some sleep
It may be hard to nod off when you’re feeling anxious. However, getting enough sleep is one major thing you can do to maintain healthy emotions. Sleep has long been associated with emotional regulation. Inadequate sleep patterns are associated with anxiety and impulsivity.
When you can’t get enough sleep, it can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and depression. When your sleep hygiene is lacking, keeping up with other healthy habits is difficult. These include physical exercise, mindful eating, and staying socially connected.
2. Be aware of what you eat and drink
If you have anxiety, you might try avoiding foods and beverages that contain caffeine. Consuming caffeine may worsen certain physical symptoms, such as an elevated heart rate or upset stomach. Research shows that drinking caffeine can increase anxiety and panic attacks in people with panic disorder.
Drinking enough water can help prevent symptoms of dehydration, which may mimic the symptoms of a panic attack.
You will also want to be mindful of your alcohol intake. Some people with social phobia rely on alcohol’s reputation as a “social lubricant” to help them stop being self-conscious. However, since alcohol is a depressant, it might leave you feeling worse. Drinking alcohol can also become a bad habit, so it’s not advisable to use it to “treat” chronic anxiety.
3. Be intentional about your downtime
When you have chronic stress, you may feel as if you’re always in overdrive. If you have social anxiety, you might feel “peopled out” relatively quickly and often. When you have time to yourself, prioritize your self-care. Do things that make you feel at ease and good about yourself to help you recover.
4. Give yourself an advantage
Often, people with social anxiety are more triggered by certain situations and interactions than others. As you work on stress management techniques, see if you can do anything to shift a necessary social interaction so it’s more comfortable for you.
For example, try meeting a friend for a birthday lunch instead of hosting a party. You can also practice your social skills and work to overcome shyness with a life coach until you gain confidence.
5. Challenge your thoughts
If you’re working with a therapist, you’ll likely spend time using CBT techniques to identify and stop intrusive thoughts. Like any other new skill, CBT is most effective when you practice it consistently.
If you notice yourself worrying about what others think of you, take your thoughts to trial. Ask yourself the following:
- Is this true?
- Do I have evidence?
- Would I be judging them for this?
- What’s more likely?
Therapists often recommend keeping a journal of your automatic negative thoughts. This way, you can discuss them in your next session.
When to seek professional help
If you’re struggling with how to manage social anxiety, you might be wondering whether you need treatment and outside support. If you experience any of the following symptoms, you should find professional help:
- Avoiding school or work
- Avoiding social situations with friends and family
- Feeling like your anxiety is getting worse with time
- Using substances like alcohol to cope with anxiety at social events
- Realizing important relationships are being strained
- Feeling lonely or depressed
- Feeling like you don’t know how to manage your social nervousness
By working with a therapist or a coach and prioritizing your self-care, you can help increase your sense of safety. When you start to feel more at ease and build your self-efficacy in social situations, you won’t be as overwhelmed by your social anxiety. Like any other phobia, it can be treated and overcome.
How to deal with social anxiety using coaching
Ultimately, you can’t get rid of your anxiety completely, but you can learn how to deal with social anxiety effectively. If you need guidance getting started, consider working with a life coach.
Life coaches use evidence-based practices and virtual support to empower you to overcome barriers and cultivate resilience. Achieve your full potential in both work and life. Find your coach now.
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