Whether you know it or not, you hide part of yourself.
During childhood, an adult reprimanded “undesirable” behavior, like being curious, and you now don’t ask questions when you have them. Or you experienced a traumatic event that you work hard to hide, repressing your feelings and avoiding any discussion on the subject.
This part of you that lives in the dark is your shadow shelf. You relegate certain traits, memories, or behaviors to this hidden place because it’s easier than confronting them. You might feel like you’re protecting yourself, but avoiding negative feelings can keep you from healing and becoming your whole self.
Many who want to unpack the shadow self seek help from a mental health professional, often in the form of talk therapy or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. With the help of a professional, you can safely unpack past traumas, explore your fixed mindset, and manage the emotional implications of this kind of self-discovery.
Complement therapy with at-home practices for healing and growth. Shadow work, or the act of uncovering your unconscious mind, can help you reflect on your beliefs and experiences. This often comes in the form of journaling or quiet self-reflection. These shadow work prompts can light the way.
The importance of shadow work
Shadow work branches from psychologist Carl Jung’s idea of the shadow self: another way to describe the unconscious mind, which is responsible for human needs like eating, drinking, and avoiding pain. Jung described the shadow self as the more primal, less socialized version of the self — one that feels socially unacceptable emotions things like greed, laziness, and anger.
Pushing the shadow self down might be your instinct. But studies show that suppressing your feelings can lead to more anxiety and decreased well-being. Instead, get in touch with all parts of who you are with shadow work.
Like many forms of self-awareness building, shadow work helps you better understand yourself. You focus solely on unpacking the buried parts of you — the aspects of your personality you’ve hidden. You can uncover formative memories or traits you’ve deemed undesirable, face them, and realistically consider the roles they play in your life.
This work is crucial to your personal development journey because it provides insights into your reactions and behaviors. You can interrogate why you bury certain parts of your personality, and when you get to the root, you can start uplifting instead of repressing yourself. Maybe you tie a negative perception of your sense of humor back to a time when people put you down after sharing a joke. From there, you can work to crush this false idea and start making people laugh again.
How to do shadow work: 3 tips
The idea behind shadow work isn’t to expose yourself to painful memories or feed into toxic traits. It’s about learning more about all parts of your personality, including positive traits and the things you want to work on.
Here are three tips for approaching this practice safely and productively:
- Get a shadow work journal: Journaling is an excellent way to encourage self-reflection because it lets you put your thoughts in writing and work through them in real time. Using self-discovery questions, you can perform at-home shadow work exercises and reflect on the observations on the page.
- Share your practice with a professional: Get the full benefits of shadow work by combining independent work with professional support. Share your desire to perform shadow work with a therapist or coach, who can help you explore the hidden parts of yourself with more guidance. They can help you reflect and set goals that bring you out of the shadows.
- Avoid shaming yourself: Focus on self-acceptance while doing shadow work. This is an exploratory exercise aimed at fostering growth, not one that encourages shame or lowers your self-esteem. As you work, track negative sensations that come up in your body. If you feel uncomfortable, it may be time to take a break or ask a mental health professional for help. And if you sense you’re not prepared to do this work now, wait until you’re ready. There are lots of other ways to learn more about yourself.
What are shadow work prompts?
Shadow work prompts are questions you ask yourself that push you to uncover repressed thoughts or feelings. You can respond to shadow work questions by journaling, jotting down related ideas, and processing the emotions that arise. You can also work through these prompts with a mental health professional or trusted friend — a good option if you want a third-party perspective.
Like most prompts, shadow work prompts give you a starting point for deep thinking. Instead of posing the difficult-to-answer question, “What parts of myself do I hide?”, prompts provide a way to approach this inquiry from different and unexpected angles. You’ll explore meaningful relationships, formative moments, and inner desires. Together, they can uncover facets of your shadow self.
75 shadow work prompts
Shadow work journal prompts uncover a holistic view of your abilities, dreams, and insecurities. These questions touch on all aspects and stages of your life, from your inner child to career goals. Here are 75 prompts that will help you explore the richness of your existence and uncover thoughts and feelings you might hide.
Shadow work prompts for beginners
If you’ve never done shadow work before, you may want to start with more general prompts and ease into the experience. Here are questions to support shadow work for beginners:
1. What are my core values? Am I living by them?
2. What do I feel in my body when I am scared or anxious?
3. Do the people around me represent my values?
4. In what situations am I most hard on myself?
5. How would I describe myself? Is my description different from the one others would give?
6. What makes me feel self-conscious?
7. Do I tend toward self-sabotage?
8. What was a time when I didn’t show myself self-compassion? Why?
9. Do I truly love myself? What would more self-love feel like?
10. What makes me feel guilty? Should I really feel this way, or did someone else impose the idea?
11. What’s something I’m embarrassed to share?
12. What are my boundaries in different parts of my life? Do others respect them?
13. In what situations do I feel “less than”?
14. Would I rate my self-perception as primarily positive or negative? Why?
15. Do I generally have high self-esteem?
16. What would it feel like to have more self-confidence?
Shadow work prompts for healing
Everyone has had impactful negative experiences or even childhood traumas in their lives. Journaling about your shadow self with the following questions can help you unpack those experiences safely:
17. What preconceptions did I have about myself as a child, and have they changed?
18. What triggers lead to unhealthy habits or poor reactions?
19. What do I try to protect myself from?
20. When I think back on hurtful memories, what do I experience in my body?
21. What’s an experience that impacted me early in life? How am I healing from it?
22. Is there something I don’t forgive myself for?
23. What advice would I give my younger self?
24. Did my parents or mentors place unrealistic expectations on me as a child? How do they continue to reflect in my adult life?
25. What values did I learn from adults as a child? How do I view these values now?
26. What does my inner child need to hear?
27. If my shadow self lived outside of me, how would I view it?
28. What’s one thing I can do today to treat myself better?
29. Do I practice negative self-talk? How can I switch the narrative?
30. What affirmations could I say to reinforce my good qualities?
31. What does my inner monologue sound like?
Shadow work prompts for personal growth
All shadow work aims to help you grow personally by knowing yourself better and addressing pain or shame. The following prompts focus mainly on looking toward the future and a more realized version of yourself:
32. What pain, shame, or heartbreak can I let go of?
33. What’s my purpose in life? How am I fulfilling it?
34. Is my shadow self preventing me from reaching a goal?
35. What’s a behavior I could work to change? When does this behavior arise?
36. Do I make enough time for self-care? What more could I be doing?
37. What advice would my future self give me?
38. Am I living up to someone else’s expectations or my own?
39. Who views me as a role model? Why?
40. What makes me feel unstable in life? Is there anything I can do to prevent this feeling?
41. Is there something that stresses me out that I can let go of?
42. What is my biggest fear, and why?
43. Do I still feel aligned with my goals?
44. Where would I like to see myself in five years? Is anything holding me back?
45. What are my inner motivations? Are they healthy?
Shadow work prompts for your professional life
Research from the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health shows that a more satisfactory professional life leads to a better personal one. It also found that the opposite is true — if you experience high stress levels or instability in the workplace, your well-being may absorb the negative toll.
It may only be one facet of your life, but reflecting on your professional self can inform all parts of you and indicate issues that bleed into other areas. Use the following shadow work prompts to ensure your job aligns with the person you hope to become:
46. Does my career trigger certain insecurities? Which and why?
47. Does my role align with my core values?
48. What responsibilities are challenging for me at work?
49. If I could change one thing about my job, what would it be?
50. Do I feel respected by my coworkers? Do any toxic behaviors affect me?
51. Are there skills I could develop to feel more confident at work?
52. Where do I see my career in three years? What about 10 years? Am I on the path to that place?
53. What’s a professional experience that negatively impacted me? How did I respond?
54. When’s a time that I overcame an obstacle at the workplace well?
55. How would my peers describe me?
56. If I could see my professional self from the outside, how would I view it?
57. Are limiting beliefs holding me back in my career?
58. What tasks do I dread most and why?
59. Is there anything I do to limit my success?
60. If I could shift my career tomorrow, what would I do?
Shadow work prompts for relationships
Relationship shadow work prompts help you understand how loved ones’ behaviors may negatively impact your self-perception — both in the past and present. Use the following questions to reflect on your current connections and consider how others’ thoughts and actions affect you:
61. What boundaries have I put up with people close to me? Why?
62. Has someone ever broken my trust? How did I respond?
63. Do I ever get into toxic relationships? If so, with what kind of people?
64. Does someone in my life shame me or throw my self-esteem into question?
65. Do I hold resentment or a grudge toward someone in my life?
66. How do I believe my partner/friends/family members see me?
67. What relationship behaviors trigger deep-seated fears?
68. Who am I the most vulnerable with, and what does it feel like?
69. When do I feel defensive in relationships? Why? How do I behave?
70. Have I ever felt rejected in a relationship? When?
71. What does it feel like to be heartbroken?
72. Who do I feel the safest around?
73. Can I honestly communicate my needs with my partner/friends/family members?
74. Do I hide parts of myself from my partner or closest friends?
75. What don’t I want others to know about me?
Bring your shadow into the light
Self-reflection is an important part of knowing yourself and setting goals that reflect your values. Use exercises like shadow work prompts, journaling, and the Johari window model to explore your inner world. The more self-awareness you develop, the better decision-maker you’ll become. And when you make choices and behave in ways that represent your core values, you live a more fulfilling life.
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