As a parent, you’re responsible for caring for and nurturing a new life. It’s an exciting, terrifying, and humbling process, and it might be the most rewarding path you ever go down.
But you have other responsibilities too: professional goals to meet, housework to do, and other relationships to maintain, like with your spouse or co-parent. And piled on top of each other, it gets overwhelming. You might need extra support to power through this experience and be the best parent you can be.
Parenting books are great resources, but their guidance is general. Their writers can’t know the details of your life and decision-making process. Strategies that may work in one instance or for one unique child aren’t always appropriate for your circumstances.
And the same might apply to advice from friends and family. Their kids are different from yours, and although talking to the people you’re close to can offer support, it might not be enough to give you the confidence you need.
If only there was someone you could call on with the skills and knowledge to help navigate the journey of parenting. A person who’ll listen without judgment and help you come up with personalized solutions that work for you and your family.
You might need the advice of a child development expert, a strategist, and a cheerleader all rolled up into one.
Enter: parent coaching.
What’s parent coaching, and how does it work?
When a Pew Research survey asked new parents about modern child raising, nearly half said they chose to bring their kids up differently than their own parents did. Even if you do decide to ask older generations for guidance, parenting has changed to such a degree over the years that their advice may not be applicable now, especially when you consider technology and parenting trends.
As well, families raising a child with special needs often require unique resources. UNICEF reports that as of 2021, there are almost 240 million children with special needs around the world, and they’re 51% more likely to feel unhappy. They may have an extensive, loving support network, but you may not be equipped with the knowledge to help these kids overcome the challenges necessary to grow and thrive.
Parent coaching is for parents and primary caregivers who want to improve their relationship with the children they love without sacrificing their personal or professional lives. A coach’s purpose is to work with you to recognize your strengths as a parent and, with psychoeducational support and evidence-based strategies, help you set realistic goals and lay out a path to meet them.
Your coach won’t tell you how to parent. Instead, they’ll listen with empathy as you describe your journey. And with their observations and insights, you can make the best parenting choices for your entire family.
The importance of parent coaching
It sometimes feels like nothing you do as a parent is right. Criticism can run rampant, even from the people close to you. Studies show that 61% of mothers and 52% of fathers report receiving negative judgment toward their parenting choices, often from the friends and family that should offer support and encouragement.
As a result, you might question your decisions and feel unsure about how best to parent your kids, affecting your mental health and self-esteem. But you shouldn’t question your role in your child’s life. You’re there for a reason.
Parent coaching can offer much-needed support, insight, and reassurance you might not get from other people in your life. It’s a judgment-free zone where you can talk about your challenges and brainstorm ways to overcome them.
Compared to other methods of instruction, coaching has a significant impact on parents and caregivers. When you work with a coach, you have the tools to integrate parenting skills and strategies at a higher rate than you could on your own.
Starting from a place of empathy, your coach will suggest tools and strategies to improve your parenting techniques and develop coping mechanisms for when you feel unsure or overwhelmed. Your relationship with your family is about more than just your children: it’s about your own well-being, too. And when your kids thrive and feel secure, your coach will be there to cheer your success.
What do parent coaches help with?
Parent coaches help you with parenting-related challenges, whether they’re internal or interpersonal. In general, you’ll work towards setting and achieving both short-term and long-term goals.
But the best part of coaching is that it can be whatever you want it to be. Parent coaching services can include assistance with:
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Adjusting to parenthood
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Screentime and cell phone addiction
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Parental leave planning
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Adaptive communication needs
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Transition issues and changes to the family dynamic (marriage, divorce, adoption)
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General child behavior challenges
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Learning challenges
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Autism spectrum disorders
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Behavior disorders
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Mental health support
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Eating disorders
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Parent or child substance abuse and recovery
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LGBTQIA+ support
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Support for trauma survivors
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Culture clash and acculturation stress
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Sensitive conversations like sex education and inequality
Keep in mind that if you or your child are facing severe challenges or mental health issues, a therapist or social worker should step in. If this is the case, your coach will recommend you seek help from the proper providers.
Parent coaching and your professional life
Becoming a parent is a major life change that affects every area of your life — not just at home. This rings especially true if you’re taking parental leave and transitioning between working, staying at home with your child, and working again.
But a coach gives you the tools to plan ahead strategically and feel confident stepping away, and they’ll help you reenter the professional world when you’re ready to return.
Regardless of whether you’re taking time off or not, striking a balance between your responsibilities as a caregiver and a professional can feel nearly impossible. Parent coaching can help you bridge the gap between those two worlds with:
Parent coaching versus therapy
There’s a lot of crossover between therapy and parent coaching. Both are professionals dedicated to positive parenting outcomes, but their focus differs.
A therapist has the education and credentials to treat mental illness. Going through therapy is a reflective process designed to help you work through emotions, behaviors, and thought patterns rooted in past experiences that affect your present life. For most clients, it’s a long-term journey, sometimes lasting years.
The coaching process is focused on action and results, not treating a specific condition. It’s about developing your mental fitness and giving you the tools to succeed on your own. Parent coaches are goal-oriented facilitators who look toward the future by offering the guidance you need to proactively address challenges in your family life.
Consult a therapist when:
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Living with a suspected or diagnosed mental health condition
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Requiring specialized treatment like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or prescription medication
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Experiencing symptoms of mental illness
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Needing strategies to care for and support your mental health
Talk to a coach when:
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Seeking help for a specific interpersonal challenge
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Looking to develop soft skills like resilience and patience
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Asking for advice on issues such as caregiver fatigue or stress management
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Developing parenting strategies and skills to support the whole family
Therapy and coaching are complementary disciplines. Both professionals can support you as a parent and, using their specialized skill sets, are invested in helping you thrive. And if you’re struggling, pair them together. Coaching positively affects treatment outcomes for children on the autism spectrum, struggling with eating disorders, or with conduct issues.
What makes parent coaching successful?
Unlike self-help books, blogs, or other common parenting resources, parent coaching doesn’t offer a one-size-fits-all approach. Instead, coaches use a family-centered coaching model — a key principle in early childhood intervention — to show you the individualized strategies and techniques you need to support your kids and yourself.
Additionally, parent coaches work one-on-one with you, without your kids or your partner. This helps on two fronts. First, your children won’t worry or feel like they’re a problem you’re trying to solve. Second, it preserves your parental empowerment and status because nobody’s correcting you in front of your child. The work of solving your family’s challenges remains in your hands.
How to find a parent coach
As with any mental health professional, it’s best to research potential candidates before choosing a parenting coach. Your family is important to you, and you want to make the right choice both for yourself and for them.
Here are five tips for your journey to finding the right coach:
1. Ask for referrals
Talk to friends, family, or your pediatrician and ask for a recommendation. If you’re already working with a therapist, you could request a reference. And if none of those avenues produce results, consult an online directory for a list of coaches in your area or who offer virtual sessions.
2. Ask about their education
Find out if your coaching candidate has a degree related to child development, such as early childhood education, psychology, or counseling.
Do they hold any professional designation from a licensing body? Have they completed training to become a certified parent coach? Although there are great coaches that don’t have the same extensive education as a therapist, if this is important to you, it’s worth asking.
3. Ask about their experience
How long have they been working as a parent coach? Do they specialize in assisting parents of children with special needs, like learning differences or autism? Can they provide you with written testimonials from other families they’ve helped? Learning about their past successes can help you decide whether their results match your goals.
4. Get to know the coach and their methods
Before committing to a course of action, sit down with the parenting coach and learn more about their practice. Do your values and perspectives on parenting align? Are their approaches and philosophies based on the latest data? Are you comfortable with their coaching style?
5. Decide what you want sessions to look like
Ask the coach how they can deliver sessions. Will they offer in-person parent coaching conversations, or are they only available online? Do they provide additional email or text support if you encounter issues between sessions?
Before agreeing to work with them, clarify any areas you don’t understand. You should also ask if your health insurance or employee benefits cover their services.
Help when you need it
You love your kids. You want them to succeed. But there will be times when you don’t know what success is or how to be your best self for them. And if you’re going on parental leave, you might not know how to navigate your new life as a parent alongside your career. It’s in those moments that parenting can feel incredibly isolating and demoralizing.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Parent coaching can give you and your family the lifeline you need to face and overcome obstacles together. Working with a coach can teach you practical strategies to help you show up for your children and take care of yourself.
You’re not alone. There’s a parent coach that’s right for you.
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