50 self-discovery questions for getting to know the real you

When was the last time you checked in with yourself? 

Sometimes life becomes hectic, and you don’t have time to look inward. Without self-reflection, you might feel overcome by stress, start to self-pity, and lose track of the things you really care about. This is normal and can happen to anyone, regardless of occupation or level of happiness.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way forever. Whether you’re experiencing burnout or imposter syndrome, taking the time to ask self-discovery questions and learn more about yourself can help you take steps to feel better. 

Practicing positive self-talk and self-care are some of the best ways to stay on top of your mental health. In fact, 75% of Americans believe self-care can alleviate stress, and integrating it into your life gives you more control over how you feel and react.

The benefits of introspective questions

You might find that your feelings and emotions are hard to identify. When you make a mistake at work, are you angry at the situation, or disappointed in yourself? When you fail to communicate with your partner, are you sad, annoyed, or furious (or a combination of all three)?

Asking get-to-know-yourself questions, whether about a specific situation or your general feelings, can help you better identify your emotions and learn about the nature of your personal values, needs, and wants in all parts of your life. From there, you’ll discover how best to deal with inevitable bumps in the road.

Other benefits of pondering deep personal questions include:

• Increasing self-awareness
• Improving mental fitness 
• Discovering and nurturing your uniqueness 
• Learning how to identify and communicate your feelings
• Developing healthy relationships 
• Strengthening emotional intelligence
• Improving decision-making skills

Starting a self-discovery journey

Learning more about your feelings takes more than just asking questions. The first step in a self-discovery journey is believing you’re worthy of the time and effort it takes to take care of yourself.

Overcoming automatic negative thoughts actually takes mental training. It’s impossible to completely eradicate judgmental self-talk, but practice is the best way to question those statements and remember your positive qualities. This is your chance to put your thoughts on trial and test them for authenticity: where are these thoughts coming from, and are they actually true? 

Stopping to think honestly about who you really are and what you really feel will help you take better care of yourself. You’ll recognize your strengths and weaknesses and find what a good self-care practice might look like for you.

Once you start, don’t stop. To unlock your true potential and live your most authentic life, you have to work for it. Self-discovery might seem like an overwhelming process, but this personal work can be fulfilling and joyful, despite the effort it takes. By committing to your well-being, you can find, define, and start walking down your path.

50 self-discovery questions for 5 areas of your life

You might not find easy answers to these self-care questions. Some are big and theoretical, and some are more concrete — and each one will get you thinking about yourself, your life, and your choices. 

Try not to shy away from questions that make you uncomfortable. Sometimes, it’s in the most uncomfortable moments that you learn the most. 

Here are 50 different questions to ask yourself:

Self-care 

If you aren’t sure where to start your introspection, these basic self-care questions are a good jumping-off point. They dig into the fundamentals of who you are.

1. What kind of person do I think I am, and does that match what other people think?
2. What are my core values?
3. What’s my personality type?
4. When do I feel most like my authentic self?
5. What would it look like if I stepped outside my comfort zone?
6. Which three words describe me best?
7. How do I find peace?
8. Where does my self-worth come from?
9. What’s a favorite memory that makes me the happiest?
10. What do I truly like to do?

Life obstacles

Everyone has bad days, but sometimes those days become larger obstacles. If this is what you’re facing, try posing questions about those roadblocks and how you want to get around them — whether that’s a difficult coworker, financial stress, or failure. 

1. What obstacles get in the way of my happiness?
2. When was the last time I was angry, and how did I handle it?
3. Where do my negative thoughts stem from?
4. What’s my level of financial wellness, and is it what I want it to be?
5. What is the most important part of my life?
6. If I could change one thing about myself, what would it be?
7. At what point in my life was I most self-confident?
8. Do I have a healthy inner monologue when things go wrong?
9. What’s my definition of a successful life?
10. Do I learn from my mistakes?

Education

Education is a lifelong process. Whether you’re in school or not, you’re always absorbing new concepts and learning new things. That’s why these questions are evergreen.

1. Are there any gaps in my learning?
2. Am I finished with formal education?
3. What did I truly enjoy about school?
4. Do I want to continue with more education at grad school, or can I find that learning elsewhere?
5. Do I feel stagnant?
6. What could I teach others?
7. What’s a soft skill I could brush up on?
8. Why do I like or dislike learning, and how can I practice that in day-to-day life?
9. Do I compare myself to others and their level of education?
10. What motivates me about learning?

Professional life 

Maybe you’re managing two jobs at once, or maybe you’re disappointed about not getting a promotion. Your professional self is a big part of you, and it also deserves self-reflection, especially if you’re ready to grow in your career.

1. Is my work enjoyable, and why or why not?
2. What do I expect my future self to be doing to earn a living?
3. What’s my 5 year plan?
4. How do I manage my work-life balance?
5. Who inspires me at work, and why?
6. Is there any job out there that I would do for free?
7. What are my job’s greatest challenges?
8. When was the last time I made a mistake, and how did it make me feel?
9. Am I working to live or living to work?
10. Do I find purpose in my daily work?

Relationships

Interpersonal relationships and social interaction take up a large part of not only your time but your emotional energy too. Nurturing your relationships with the people around you, whether they’re colleagues or romantic partners, can build up your support system and inform your own thinking.

1. What do I contribute to my relationships?
2. Who are my go-to friends or family members when I’m upset?
3. Do I have unfinished business with anyone, and would I benefit from talking to them?
4. What kinds of love have I shared or experienced?
5. How will my friends and family remember me when I’m gone?
6. Who is my greatest influence, and why?
7. Is there an unhealthy relationship I should let go of?
8. Is there a relationship I should strengthen, and how can I go about it?
9. Do my friends and family inform my decisions?
10. What kinds of interactions make me the happiest?

Other ways to learn more about yourself

Self-reflection is an ongoing process, and it doesn’t have a finish line. Once you start your journey, find practices that make you feel comfortable and help you grow — which will be different for everyone. 

If you’ve maxed out your self-discovery questions or are ready to explore new methods of reflection, try these other activities: 

• Journaling: Writing your thoughts down in a journal can help you work through and reflect on your emotions. Whether you’re writing a stream of consciousness or one careful word at a time, being open and honest with yourself on paper (or digitally) is a great way to explore.

• Exercising: Getting the blood pumping releases chemicals called endorphins that regulate your mood and improve self-esteem. Though it may be difficult to get off the couch at first, exercise boosts your mental health and can clear your mind.

• Eating a healthy diet: The food we eat has much to do with how we feel about ourselves. A healthy diet supports your body’s systems and gives you the energy you need to look inward. Try incorporating healthy foods for concentration into your diet.

• Prioritizing sleep: Not getting enough sleep makes you feel irritable and unfocused, and when that develops into poor sleep hygiene, you might have difficulty concentrating and feeling energized throughout the day. Consider establishing a self-care bedtime routine to make sure you get enough sleep.

• Meditating: Meditation reduces stress, aids emotional regulation, and gives you a quiet space for self-reflection. This can look like a formal meditation practice, or simply being mindful throughout the day. Whether you’re a beginner in meditation or do it every day, taking the time to be quiet and calm will reduce stress and help you relax.

• Creating art: Art therapy can improve your self-esteem and self-awareness. Creating art, whether visual or otherwise, is about identifying and expressing your feelings. If you’re having trouble vocalizing your emotions, art could be a good alternative. 

Meet the most important person in your life: Yourself

Asking self-discovery questions has the potential to change your life, but it requires regular practice. Take time out of your day to check in with yourself, and find different ways to embrace self-exploration.

Once you look inward and take the time to look after your brain, you’ll continue the trip of a lifetime: the journey of self-discovery.