How often have you heard the phrase, “You can’t help how you feel?”
Someone may have said it to you as a child, or it may be something you instinctively believe based on past experience. But this statement isn’t entirely true.
Imagine you’re receiving feedback in a performance review at work. Although it’s constructive, your manager notes an example of a mistake you made. Your instinct is to deflect and become defensive. But if over the next few months, you set a goal to maintain optimism and discover how to learn from your mistakes, you’ll feel much more confident in your next performance review — even when you receive constructive criticism.
With self-reflection and practice, you can change the way you react to situations, and it starts with setting emotional goals. Whether you want to work on your self-care habits or set boundaries with friends and family, these goals can have a profound impact on both your mental health and that of those around you.
What are emotional goals?
Emotional goals are the objectives you set to move yourself toward a specific emotional state or improve your overall mental health and emotional regulation. This could mean anything from controlling your anger so you don’t lose your temper with others to developing a more positive outlook on your life.
Like other types of goals, emotional ones should be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. This involves setting a deadline for achievement and creating a step-by-step plan to keep you on track, putting you on a clear path to success. Above all, the goals should be something you can reasonably accomplish, even if that means starting with small steps.
An emotional wellness goal might be harder to make SMART because it might not have a tangible, easily measurable outcome. A goal like “be more decisive” is hard to put in a box. But take the time to reflect and break it down.
Being more decisive might involve trying to make decisions faster and building confidence in your judgment. To achieve those objectives, you could set a goal to make small decisions within 30 seconds or write journal entries about past choices and what you did right. These measurable, actionable steps bring you closer to decisiveness.
If you’re still not sure what an emotional goal looks like, here are some quick examples:
- Dedicate one day per month solely to self-care
- Spend a few minutes every day practicing mindfulness to manage your stress
- Find a creative hobby for self-expression, then practice it once a week
- Meditate for 10 minutes every day
- Make it a monthly goal to do a new social activity
The importance of setting emotional goals
According to a survey from research group YouGov, most Americans are happy with who they are. But most survey respondents also noted that they don’t like some aspects of themselves, whether they wish they treated others better or want to change their personality traits.
Setting emotional health goals is important because it spurs self-reflection. It gives you the chance to think deeply about your emotional wellness, identify the things you love about yourself, and make a point of improving things you might want to change. Through that process, you take charge of your mental health.
This emotional autonomy can help you raise your self-esteem and develop the self-awareness you need to continuously grow. It can also give you the tools you need to stay resilient when obstacles arise. And on an interpersonal level, your goals might also help you develop your communication skills and deepen your relationships.
20 emotional goals examples
Whether you want to get out of your comfort zone or try new things without worrying about other people’s opinions, emotional goals can set you on the right path. They can help you overcome challenges, build healthy relationships, and find motivation from within.
When it comes to internal and social emotional goals, examples can help you identify exactly what you want to work on. Here are 20 different areas and topics to inspire your future emotional goals:
1. Practice gratitude
Gratitude can have huge impacts on your ability to live joyfully. You’ll find pleasure in the small things, strengthen your relationships, and even improve your health.
One way to cultivate gratitude as part of your daily routine is to keep a gratitude list or journal where you write down what you’re thankful for each day. You can also practice being grateful to others by sending cards, texts, and notes to show them how much you value their presence or actions.
2. Prioritize self-care
While it’s important to uphold responsibilities and help others, taking care of yourself comes first. Self-care can prevent burnout, improve mental fitness, and better equip you to handle life’s challenges.
Spend some time reflecting on the things that relax you and contribute to your long-term wellness. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, spending time alone when necessary, and maintaining your physical health. These wellness goals are some of the easiest to reach because they might only take a few minutes out of your day — so don’t neglect them.
3. Find satisfaction wherever you can
There will always be aspects of your life that you’re working to improve. But don’t let dissatisfaction cloud the things you do love about yourself. If you’re a perfectionist or have a hard time seeing positives, use your emotional goals to remind yourself of the great qualities you already have.
On a regular basis, write down a list of all the positive aspects of your life and actively practice gratitude toward them. Commit to finding satisfaction in those things rather than worrying about what you don’t have. And when you do spot things you want to change, keep a positive, constructive mindset.
4. Become a better communicator
Strong communication skills facilitate many other goals, like setting boundaries, improving relationships, and boosting your social life. Set a foundation by working on communication first.
Start listening actively, ask questions rather than making assumptions, and take your time when responding to people. These behaviors will allow you to better express yourself and make sure others know you listen to and care about them. And when difficult conversations arise, these skills will equip you to navigate them.
5. Control your stress levels
There’s no way to avoid all types of stress in your life. But setting achievable emotional regulation goals can help you manage stressful situations and approach problems with more ease.
When you encounter an issue that overwhelms you, take action. If it’s something you can solve, create a plan to fix it, and if it isn’t, learn how to accept and let go. Use goal-setting to work on emotional regulation, whether that’s taking a moment to express your feelings or making a clear action plan to avoid roadblocks.
6. Respond, don’t react
Stress can shut down the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain responsible for executive cognition and your responses to external stimuli. That means you might freeze or react poorly when you let stress take over.
Instead of reacting reflexively to problems, set goals to work on your emotional reactions. Take some deep breaths to calm down and formulate a productive response, or practice stepping back from situations that make you anxious until you feel better. Knowing how to navigate stressful stimuli can help you feel more confident about your reactions over time.
7. Be more decisive
Many people procrastinate decisions, whether it’s making something to eat for breakfast or leaving an old job for a new one. If you want to be more decisive, your emotional goals can slowly help you approach choices with more clarity and understand that the wrong decision isn’t always the end of the world.
Overcome choice anxiety by learning how to narrow down your options, trust your gut, and avoid analysis paralysis. Start with small decisions and build yourself up from there. When you become comfortable with little decisions, the bigger ones will become easier to manage.
8. Set realistic expectations
Dreaming big can inspire and motivate you. But if you constantly set out-of-reach goals, you might set yourself up for disappointment.
If this is a problem you’re facing, acknowledge that your aspirations don’t have to be lofty to be worthwhile. Your goal could simply be to set smaller goals, like maintaining a new morning routine or staying hydrated every day. Acknowledge the worth of those smaller steps. And when you do want to achieve a large goal, give yourself the grace and time to do so at a sustainable pace.
9. Become more social
Social goals can help you cultivate meaningful relationships and make new friends. And in the context of emotional growth, they also build communication skills, improve self-esteem, and give you the support system you need to thrive.
Make it a point to contact a few people weekly through text or in person. Attending regular social events and get-togethers can also connect you to your community. Just remember to acknowledge your social capacity and don’t push yourself further than you need.
10. Maintain optimism
Keeping a positive mental attitude doesn’t come naturally for everyone. If you find your negativity affects your emotional health, try setting a goal to be more optimistic. When you face a problem, write down the productive ways you could work through it instead of dwelling on the stress. And if you’re prone to negative self-talk or ruminating thoughts, try to make it a habit to reframe your thinking.
11. Laugh more
You might have heard the rumor that smiling can make you feel happier. But reviews of this research say that if smiling does have an impact on your mood, it’s minimal.
Instead of just smiling or laughing when you don’t feel happy, do activities that bring you joy. Hold a monthly movie night with friends to watch an old favorite comedy, or set a goal to do a good deed once a week. You’ll have something to look forward to and distract from potential stressors. Make a list of things that make you happy so that when you’re unsure of what to do, you have ideas in front of you already.
12. Form better habits
Habits are the things you do repeatedly without even realizing it, and setting habit-related goals can improve your emotional well-being on a day-to-day basis. Cultivate good habits either by breaking bad habits or increasing your good ones until you perform them each day. These could include routine-related habits, healthy eating, or even a self-care checklist.
13. Build strong relationships
Strengthening your relationships requires you to improve many smaller emotional intelligence goals along the way, like listening better and making quality time for family. Reflect on your current relationships and what goals might help you improve them. If you want to show your spouse you care, set a goal to plan two date nights per month. If you want to get closer to a new friend, your goal could be to reach out to them at least once a week.
14. Set boundaries (and keep them)
Boundaries are necessary, even with close friends and family members. They help protect your emotional health and set the tone for happy relationships that keep everyone’s needs in mind. Decide what behavior you will and won’t accept from others, and make it a goal to clearly communicate what your boundaries are.
Another objective could be to ask friends or family what their boundaries are and check in on a regular basis. This opens communication and lets the people around you know you care.
15. Release resentment
When someone frustrates, angers, or even betrays you, your emotional reaction is valid. But if you hold grudges or have a hard time letting old feelings go, it might be time to direct your energy elsewhere.
Releasing resentment might be a long-term goal if it’s become a deep part of you. Start by acknowledging your feelings, setting goals for self-reflection, and writing down the positive lessons you learn as a result of negative situations. These emotional intelligence skills will teach you how to handle similar conflicts later.
16. Deal with difficult emotions
You can’t avoid difficult situations if you want to grow and accomplish life goals. Learn how to face your fears without invalidating your feelings. If public speaking gives you intense anxiety, take small steps to acknowledge the stress, try to find the root of the problem, and create an action plan to slowly improve your skills. Instead of avoiding it, you’ll discover how to face it.
17. Practice mindfulness
If you’re a busy person, you might find it hard to be fully present in every situation. But paying attention and staying grounded can help you live in the moment and be an active participant in your relationships.
Set a goal to maintain a mindfulness practice every day. You could start your morning with mindful breathing, find a meditation routine that works for you, or journal your thoughts. Through these smaller goals, you’ll engage with what’s happening around and inside you.
18. Use positive self-talk
You deserve kindness and affirmation from yourself as much as from anyone else. And emotional goals can put that into practice. Start taking note of all the seemingly inconsequential things you accomplish during the day, such as getting ready for work or having a healthy meal, and celebrate these small victories. Make it a goal to acknowledge your positive attributes and repeat some affirmations whenever you feel down.
19. Eat mindfully
Mindful eating can strengthen your relationship with food and help ensure you’re getting the fuel you need. Reflect on your current habits and decide what goals might benefit you. Maybe you want to eat healthier snacks or set a concrete meal plan to avoid ordering last-minute takeout on busy days. Speaking with a dietician or nutrition coach can give you the expert insight you need to make better choices.
20. Seek out support when you need it
Asking for help can be hard. But it’s more than worth it to reach out when you’re struggling, whether you’re facing burnout or a mental health challenge.
Seek help from a coach or mental health professional with the experience and unbiased perspective you might need to work through difficult situations. Make it a goal to find someone you connect with and meet with them on a regular basis. They could provide the support you need to achieve your goals and feel more confident about your life.
Protect your well-being with emotional goal-setting
When it comes to goal-setting, don’t neglect your feelings. Emotional goals can have the same level of impact — if not more — than professional or financial ones. You’ll learn how to prioritize your well-being, build positive relationships with others, and become a better version of yourself.
As you move toward emotional health, remember to be patient with yourself and focus on progress, not perfection. Take hardships in stride, tally up your victories, and most importantly, learn to accept help.
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